It’s time to leave your big mansion, hop into your Bugattis, Lamborghinis and Maseratis, sip your mah-tinis, slip into a buh-kini and party in France. Why?
Because The Legendary Miss Britney Spears just premiered the Ben Mor-directed music video for “Work Bitch” on America’s most urban channel, The CW Network.
Oh wait, I’m sorry. You don’t have all of those things already? Well, then…
YOU BETTER WORK, BITCH.
SAND AND DELIVER
Following her Good Morning Americaannouncement, Britney has decided to casually wander into the desert with some dancers to announce her upcoming residency, Britney Spears: Piece of Me — otherwise known as Live In Las Vegasney: The Bitch Is Back.
Why the desert? Because it’s Britney, bitch. That’s fucking why. You wanna?
NOW GET TO WORK, BITCH.
Britney’s having a fine time soaking in the sun with her dancers. If she could, she’d spend the whole day here steaming like a pot of vegetables while showing off her hot bodeh. But she can’t. Why? Because she needs to #WORKBXXCH.
And so, the sensual seductress begins to do some #WorkBXXCH with some subtle fragrance promo — as do All Good Britney Music Videos. In the desert, you need to smell your very best. Care for some Desert Fantasy?
This is also an allusion to Britney’s Sia-penned ballad “Perfume,” which is one of the songs Britney really likes from her upcoming eighth studio album out in December, tentatively titled Blackout 2.0: It Gets Urbaner And Also More Spearitual And A Little More Personal (Raw).
OASIS FROM UNDER
Oh, yeah. There’s also a small oasis in the middle of the desert — and some new friends.
You see, Lady Gaga left her “Poker Face” dancers there to die because they weren’t ARTPOP enough.
Britney, however, is far too Benevolentney to let anyone suffer, and so she kindly blesses them by pointing them in the general direction toward salvation — otherwise known as Planet Hollywood in Las Vegas.
But there’s no more time for charity work. That’s right: She’s about to work. In 3…2…1…
GOOD GODNEY. SHE’S DANCING.
Britney “Hotney Jean Godney” Spears is not just giving you Spearitual armography this time around. She is giving you hip-thrusting, body-twerking, hair-flipping cardio movement. Energy. THE FIRE IN THE EYES.
ME (STILL) AGAINST THE MUSIC
We’re in a hotel now across from Planet Hollywood — or is it the newly refurbished location of the “Me Against The Music” video? It doesn’t matter. Why? Because she has to #WORKBXXCH.
And so, she begins to break it the fuck down…
…and down and up and down and up and down…
OOPS!…SHE SLAYED IT AGAIN.
Yes, that’s a BFB — a Britney Floor Bend (not to be confused with a Big Fat Bass) — just like the one she did in the video for “Me Against The Music.”
You see? That’s right, from exactly 10 years ago. Britney homage. (IT’S CALLED A BROMAGE.)
S-S-S & M-M-M
But enough of that for now.
B-Girl’s thirst for all things lace, leather and bondage wasn’t fully satisfied by her Circus Tour“Sweet Dreams” interlude, nor her “S&M” collaboration with Illuminati Princess Rihanna, so Godney asked Ben Mor to find some assorted lesser-basics to slap around and punish for not doing #WORKBXXCH.
Hey, everybody’s got their freaky tendencies… (REFERENCE)
Growing Pensiveney for a moment, Britney retreats into an enchanted cave with a “Criminal”-esque doorway inside. (Are we still in the desert? JUST STOP ASKING QUESTIONS.) There was some sort of #WORKBXXCH she was still forgetting to do.
There hasn’t been nearly enough time for hair flips, she realizes. Something must be done at once.
There we go.
Trip To Your Shark
Having decided to wander away from the madness in the desert, Britney inadvertently finds herself in a giant vat of water collected from the rain during her “…Baby One More Time” finale on the Dream Within A Dream Tour. She’s also done a quick change into a (drop dead) beautiful pink bondage tape flowing dress.
She is a stunning, iconic goddess. We collectively bow down and remain deeply, deeply unworthy.
But alas, trouble lurks: She’s surrounded by sharks! This is what true lovers of literature refer to as “a metaphor.” The sharks represent the evil media outlets preying on her every move, the endless critics, the lesser-basic pop princesses and and the thirsty Twitter gays eager to take a shady bite for a retweet.
She towers above them all, Confidentney. She is the One True Queen. (This scene alone will inspire several new fragrances, including Curious Shark, Jaws Radiance and Chum Fantasy.)
LIVING LEGEND, YOU CAN LOOK BUT DON’T TOUCH
Having established her position on the throne yet again, Godney borrows Kathy Perry‘s Prism to keep it moving higher and higher and make a final defining statement. She holds the reigns of all the lesser-basics. Why? Because she’s like the ringleader. She calls the shots.
At first glance, it might appear that Britney is simply holding the reigns to her talented fleet of dancers…
THIS IS A THING I HAVE FOUND FROM THE INTERNET IT IS A JOKE PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME MORE DEATH THREATS
Closer inspection, however, reveals that the dancers are none other than an assortment of lesser Britney stans — including Kathy Perry, Larry Gaga and Molly Cervix.
MY FACE NO LONGER LIKE A MANNEQUIN
They try to keep up…
…until they can’t take it, take it no more.
GAME OVER, BITCHES.
Pop princesses from across the globe have begun scurrying madly to try and find their wigs. Unemployment lines are thinning out rapidly. And Congress itself is now rushing back to Washington DC for an emergency government reboot upon taking Britney’s sage words to heart.
And there you have it: The “Work Bitch” music video.
Of course, “Work Bitch” is yet another incredible, iconic video to add to the Spearitual videography. She continues to serve in video form — but it’s actually even more than that this time.
Even though she doesn’t need to prove it to anyone (or ever dance again, really), Britney danced. It was the hardest she’s done in years. Sure, it wasn’t THE MOVES that we once got, but she’s visibly putting in effort again — she worked, bitch. There was floor choreography. I’m not here to hear complaints: Those who whine about the loss of “I’m A Slave 4 U”-era Britney are the same ones who likely bemoan the lack of music videos on MTV. We get it already. Grow up, get over it and realize that there is still a VERY MUCH AMAZING pop star in front of them, still working (bitch) and remaining the best pop star in the world.
The visuals are just gorgeous. The desert? So hot. The S&M scenes? Gagging — literally. It looked like a Beats Pill-sponsored version of Christina‘s “Not Myself Tonight” at one point. (In a good way, duh.)
She herself, of course, looks stunning. She always looks stunning, but she looks fucking stun-ning. Remember: This Work Bitch just celebrated the 15th anniversary of her debut. Two babies. And still, she continues to serve all of the girls.
While I would have liked the editing to focus on her moves for a split second longer, everything else truly exceeded whatever I could have hoped for. I mean, come on. SHARKS?! Already my favorite. But sharks and Britney Spears? Quite literally all my (circus/midnight/hidden) fantasies put into one.
‘Twas a dream within a dream, and a true POP video as only Britney Spears could ever provide. She is simply in a league of her own. The bitch is back and better than ever, as one might say. I’m so proud of her, and so happy with the end result.
For now and forever, my Queen.
(Oh, and JoJostans for it too. Any alternative opinions are officially null and void.)
Hollywood was struck with the tragic death of actor Paul Walker on Saturday, who was best known for his leading role in the Fast and the Furious franchise. Paul died in a tragic car accident in Santa Clarita, California after he and a friend slammed into a light pole while driving a 2005 Porsche Carrera GT. He was 40-years-old.
Take a look back at Paul's career. HOLLYWIRE
I really love music and fashion: I can't get enough of them!
About music I love the fact it will never betray me, it's my best friend ever!
About fashion I love the fact that I created my personal style inspring me by a lot of stuff, it's a mix of different styles! I love accessories like rings, bows, headbands, bracelets, necklaces, gloves, hat and crazy hair!
I'm graduated in fashion at the high school and now I'm studing music at the university
I hope to realize my dream in future and to be happy with my lovely angel!
I really love going at concerts, events and shows, this is a list of all those I assisted since 2002:
July 25/27, 2002 – Tim Tour @ Piazza Dell’Unità D’Italia - Trieste (IT)
January 24, 2004 – GREASE The Musical @ Politeama Rossetti - Trieste (IT)
April 10, 2004 – Jesus Christ Superstar @ Politeama Rossetti – Trieste (IT)
March 12/13, 2005 – FOOTLOOSE The Musical @ Politeama Rossetti - Trieste (IT)
April 30, 2005 – Miller Music Tour @ Piazza Dell’Unità D’Italia - Trieste (IT)
May 14, 2006 – The Producers The Musical @ Politeama Rossetti – Trieste (IT)
June 9/10/14/15/16, 2006 – TRL Live @ Molo Audace - Trieste (IT)
January 21, 2007 – Momix Sunflower Moon @ Politeama Rossetti – Trieste (IT)
March 17, 2007 – Tiziano Ferro @ PalaTrieste - Trieste (IT)
May 12, 2007 – Zucchero “Sugar” Fornaciari @ Hala Tivoli - Ljubljana (Slovenia)
May 22, 2007 – Geppi Cucciari @ Politeama Rossetti – Trieste (IT)
November 28, 2007 – WHY… @ Politeama Rossetti – Trieste (IT)
December 11, 2007 – Giorgio Panariello @ Politeama Rossetti – Trieste (IT)
January 6, 2008 – 3MSC The Musical @ Politeama Rossetti – Trieste (IT)
February 28, 2008 – Fin Des Terres @ Politeama Rossetti – Trieste (IT)
July 11, 2008 – Tokio Hotel @ Parco Novi Sad – Modena (IT)
August 27, 2008 – Ron @ Valmaura – Trieste (IT)
December 28, 2008 – Gran Varietà Brachetti @ Politeama Rossetti – Trieste (IT)
March 15, 2009 – Momix Bothanica @ Politeama Rossetti – Trieste (IT)
March 31, 2009 – Nightwish @ Palasport Forum – Pordenone (IT)
May 16, 2009 – TRL AWARDS @ Piazza Dell’Unità D’Italia – Trieste (IT)
August 4, 2009 – Punto Zelig @ Piazza Dell’Unità D’Italia – Trieste (IT)
September 26, 2009 – Tokio Hotel @ Coca Cola Live - Piazza del Popolo – Rome (IT)
November 8, 2009 – Thriller Live @ Politeama Rossetti – Trieste (IT)
January 13, 2010 – Cochi e Renato @ Politeama Rossetti – Trieste (IT)
February 12, 2010 – Alessandra Amoroso @ Palasport Forum – Pordenone (IT)
March 10, 2010 – Gioele Dix @ Politeama Rossetti – Trieste (IT)
March 26, 2010 – Tokio Hotel @ Palasport - Padova (IT)
April 11, 2010 – Tokio Hotel @ Palalottomatica – Rome (IT)
May 10, 2010 – Giuseppe Giacobazzi @ Politeama Rossetti – Trieste (IT)
May 24, 2010 – Let’s Dance @ Teatro Europa Auditorium - Bologna (IT)
May 27, 2010 – Valerio Scanu @ TRL Live - Trieste (IT)
July 16, 2010 – Bill&Tom Kaulitz @ TRL Live - Catania (IT)
July 21, 2010 – Irene Fornaciari @ Piazza Dell’Unità D’Italia – Trieste (IT)
November 14, 2010 – Rock The Ballet @ Politeama Rossetti – Trieste (IT)
December 21, 2010 – Tarja @ Magazzini Generali – Milan (IT)
February 16, 2011 – Complexions @ Politeama Rossetti – Trieste (IT)
March 19, 2011 – Alessandra Amoroso @ Nelson Mandela Forum – Florence (IT)
March 29, 2011 – American Ballet Theatre ABT II @ Politeama Rossetti – Trieste (IT)
May 13, 2011 - Terrybilmente Divagante - Teresa Mannino @ Politeama Rossetti - Trieste (IT)
October 3, 2011 – Britney Spears @ Hallenstadion – Zurich (CH)
October 17, 2011 – Within Temptation @ Alcatraz – Milan (IT)
February 19, 2012 – BLAZE The Street Dance Sensation @ Politeama Rossetti – Trieste (IT)
April 25, 2012 – Nightwish @ Assago – Milan (IT)
May 22, 2012 – Biagio Antonacci @ PalaTrieste – Trieste (IT)
June 21, 2012 – Nicki Minaj @ Alcatraz – Milan (IT)
September 21, 2012 - Marilyn Monroe Exhibition @ Salvatore Ferragamo Museum - Florence (IT)
November 2, 2012 - Biagio Antonacci @ Palasport - Verona (IT)
March 2, 2013 - Swan Like On Ice @ Politeama Rossetti - Trieste (IT)
July 11, 2013 - Rammstein @ Villa Manin - Udine (IT)
July 16, 2013 - Parsons Dance Company @ Politeama Rossetti - Trieste (IT)
October 1, 2013 - Moreno @ Alcatraz - Milan (IT)
create accessories and outfits, dancing, music, paint, shopping, singing
alessandra amoroso, anastacia, annie lennox, apocalyptica, biagio antonacci, bon jovi, britney spears, carly rose sonenclar, cassandra steen, david bowie, delain, dolcenera, dr.dre, e nomine, eklipse, eluveitie, eminem, emma, enigma, enya, epica, era, evanescence, fatun, faun, fifth harmony, gemelli diversi, giorgia, goo goo dolls, gregorian, guano apes, gwen stefani, hoobastank, iggy pop, indica, jennifer lopez, jennifer love hewitt, jessie j, journey, justin timberlake, keri hilson, kosheen, linkin park, lucya russo, lyric 145, mandy moore, mater dea, michael jackson, mike & the mechanics, missy elliott, modà, monrose, moya brennan, nena, nicki minaj, nightwish, nine inch nails, nsync, obscura, one republic, outkast, p!nk, paige thomas, pain, panik, paolo meneguzzi, phil collins, queen, rammstein, red hot chili peppers, rolling stones, samy deluxe, sarah mckennit, sex pistols, silbermond, sirenia, snoop dogg, sonata arctica, sting, t.A.t.U., tarja, tate stevens, the banshee, the police, timbaland, tiziano ferro, tokio hotel, train, van canto, van halen, vangelis, vino alan, within temptation
13 going 30, A Time For Dancing, A walk to remember, Arthur und die minimoys, Avatar, Black Swan, City of Angels, Crossroads, Labyrinth, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, Requiem For A Dream, Saw, Seven Pounds, Speak, Step Up, The Crow, The Exorcist, The Hangover, The Pursuit of Happyness, The Wrestler, Titanic
Favorite TV Shows:
Alias, Beverly Hills 90210, Brothers&Sisters, Charmed, Desperate Housewives, Dexter, Everwood, Games Of Thrones, Ghost Whisperer, Glee, Lost, Medium, Once Upon A Time, Person Of Interest, Teen Wolf, The Nanny, The Vampire Diaries, Veronica Mars
A Mothers Gift, Arthur und die Minimoys, Bowie: The Berliner Trilogy, Dexter, Harry Potter, Heart to Heart, Speak, The Perks Of Being A Wallflower, The Vampire Diaries